Losing a friend or a close family member can mess you up for weeks… months… years. There is no standard recipe for dealing with death. The reminders will keep coming over and over again. Every Holiday, Birthday, Anniversary… you’ll just keep relapsing.
1. It’s quite alright to go into a dark hole at first.
You won’t get over this kind of grief overnight. If you have to take a moment to shut everyone out it is quite understandable. The texts, calls, and constant reminders will drive you crazy. Take some time to deal with it internally before responding to all the ‘Sorry For Your Loss’ text messages. When you feel up to it, come out of the hole and prepare to face the reality of what has happened.
2. Let close friends be there for you.
People who care about you will want to care for you. Its natural for you to reject talking about it but at some point you will have to vent it out or you will suffocate internally trying to hold it in. Be willing to let a friend be a friend when the time is right. A shoulder to lean on is an exhibition of God’s compassion in our weakest moments.
3. Go somewhere new.
Our lives are usually built around a routine of places and people we are used to seeing. Memories are in your car. They are all through the house. They are in your favorite movies. They are waiting at your favorite restaurants. They are even in the songs on the radio. You have to go somewhere new. Somewhere that won’t remind you of anything in your past. A new place to clear your mind can be the refreshing start you need.
4. Make Peace With It.
There is no real closure when it comes to death. Even if you are fortunate to share last words you will always think of something else you could have said. There is nothing more you could have said or done. We don’t decide when a person dies. God does. We have to face reality and make peace with it. We must accept the loss no matter how much pain we feel inside, knowing God’s Plan is not ours to challenge.
5. Understand Life better.
We don’t live forever. Tragic death is even harder to understand than common death but we must remember death is actually a Believer’s graduation. We cry out of bereavement. We will miss that person but we must understand where they are. The bible teaches the second our Spirit exits the body we are immediately present with the Lord. That alone is the greatest honor we could ever receive.
Don’t rush the growth process. Don’t force yourself to forget and move on instantaneously. It takes time. This kind of pain is not something you just get over. This is the kind of pain you have to learn to live with for the rest of your life. It does get easier but it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Everyday take a new step forward with full Faith and Understanding that you will see that person again on the otherside.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.