Men respect intimacy just as much or even more than women do. Nope. I haven’t done any official research on this. I’m just going off the conversations that me and all my male friends have. So, let me first clarify the kind of male friends I have. We are serious God-fearing dudes. We all work hard. We are not poor but we definitely don’t have ‘bags in the coup bussin’ out the roof’… yet! We pretty much pay our bills then get together at the gym and discuss how we hate paying our bills. Every now and then we will babble about something our lady did that was amazing!
Bruh, Charlene made steak and scallops last night. She hooked it up!
Bruh, me and Charlene went to Florida for the weekend.
Bruh, me and my girl checked out that new Kevin Hart movie last night.
Yes, guys share the general information. We don’t share the details of bedroom magic, though. No real man discusses how he and his woman have sex. I’m telling you… if your man does that with his friends either he doesn’t care about you as much as he claims to care or he is trying to prove to his homeboys he is not gay. I don’t even think gay guys do that. Single men may share sex stories and they can get away with that but men in serious relationships do not tell each other the juicy stuff. We just don’t.
Why am I gonna tell you how good my woman is in the bedroom and have you imagining it everytime you see her? Nah… bruh. We don’t do that. I wish a fool would tell me he can’t get my wife in the red lace panties out of his mind!
If your man cares about you he wants THOSE intimate details to be in his mind only. Truth is, men don’t even want to be reminded that other guys hit it before us. Don’t even tell us who it was. All we’re going to do is compare. Did he hit it like I hit? What did you try with him that you haven’t tried with me? Did I really teach you that or did he teach you that and you just pretended not to know just to make me feel good? ‘Dem questions will mess a man’s head up worse than 7 shots of tequila in a hole in the wall nightclub one night in Memphis sitting next to a cougar name Evelyn. My bad… TMI.
Anyway, all I’m trying to say is if the dude is pretty crazy about you he is not really interested in sharing juicy details about you to ANYBODY. Sexual intimacy with the woman we care about is that sacred to a man. One general reason is because sexual intimacy for men is equivalent to claiming land. You don’t steal my property, sleep on my property, produce nothing on my property, and as a matter of fact if you touch my property without permission I feel I have the right to shoot you!
I’m gonna go on record and say men and women approach serious relationships completely different. I’m not a big expert on one night stands. I been married almost two decades and I have really forgotten how the one night stand thing works. But, I am talking about Serious Relationships. Commitments. Like… when a man proposes to a woman or even when he decides to turn their casual dating into something official. With serious relationships… men and women are essentially different.
The #1 reason a man neglects to make a relationship official is because he is still comparing you to his other possibilities. Men generally take commitment seriously. No man I know wants to be labeled a sucker. So, before a real dude commits to you he asking himself… “Are you sure this is the only woman you want to sleep with for the rest of your life? You don’t NEVER wanna get with big booty Kisha no more?
That’s scary for most men because we want ‘the best’ by nature. The best car, best house, best clothes, best position in the company, and most definitely the best woman. We are competitive creatures. So, if there is a possibility he can have someone better than you he is going to hesitate making your relationship serious. He is weighing his options and enjoying something like a relationship with you without any future expectations on it. I don’t think there is anything wrong with enjoying your adult life until lies interrupt the program.
On the flip side, when a woman is approached to make a relationship serious, sex is important, but it’s usually not the first thing that comes to her mind. The first thing a woman says to herself is… “Is this for real? Can I really trust him? Why all of sudden he wanna be serious? I aint got time for these games.”
Women value Honesty higher than Sexuality. Men take tend to care about sexual satisfaction more than the dynamics of the commitment.
Before a woman can even start thinking about sexual satisfaction or even intimate compatibility she has to double check her intuition to decide if she even believes he is capable of a serious relationship. Women are more concerned about being made a fool than they are about comparing a man to the other fish in the sea. While every woman is different, women in general don’t have to have the best house, best car, best position in the company, or even the best looking man in town. A woman generally just wants what’s best for her. For her life.
Sex and Intimacy are not the same. You can have sex with someone without it being intimate all. Intimacy requires the sharing of spirits. It’s the joining of passion and a sensual trust between two people. It’s a bond. It’s complete submission without limits. It’s honesty in action. If you are in a relationship or considering one with someone make sure you both respect Intimacy. It’s not a moment you create. Intimacy exhibits the level of respect you have for each other.