If you’re a Christian, the very minute after you cheat on someone you really care about you will feel guilty. You should’ve felt guilty before, while, and after you had intercourse outside of the person you committed to. The bad part is you’re going to have to face the consequences soon or later and it won’t be pretty. The good part is… you’re still saved.
Only a saved person is haunted by an ungodly action. People who are not saved have no remorse for sin. People who truly believe in God are bothered when we fall short of God’s expectations for us. As your mom would put it… “You know better!”
Cheating doesn’t just happen. Nobody can just make you take off your clothes and have sex with them. There is no such thing as being ‘caught up in the moment’. There are only two ways a person can engage in a sexual affair. One is by rape and the other way is by choice.
The issue is not that you’ve cheated. The real issue is WHY you cheated. It’s not that someone else is more attractive than who you have. That’s not the root of the issue. It’s not that you aren’t sexually pleased by who you have (that can be taught). The only reason we cheat is because we are deceived by the enemy. At your weakest and most vulnerable moment the enemy distracted you and took advantage of your misdirected emotions.
When we cheat, the desire is already in our heart before we even do it. All an affair does is give us the opportunity to act on wild emotions. Before you can even get to reconciling the pain you’ve caused on a person you truly care about you must first figure out where the deceit in your mind began. You’ve got to make a promise to yourself to reject anything that puts your mind and your heart back in that place of distraction. That means you’ll have to pull away from some songs on the radio, movies, places, and people who will replant the seed of lust in your mind.
Then, you must ask God for Forgiveness. God doesn’t hold grudges. He is a merciful God. Tell God you understand how you fell off track and ask for His guidance to rebuild you in your weak areas.
The person you hurt may not respond cheerfully but you have to be honest and be willing to accept the layers of pain they will more than likely release. You must also ask for their forgiveness. Then, give them space to process the whole situation. Ask God to also give that person the strength to forgive you. Be willing to accept whatever choice they make, even if their decision will hurt or embarrass you. Embarrassment is temporary but the guilt of sin will haunt the rest of your life.
Don’t chicken out of the process. Guilt will follow you, get into your dreams at night, and it will eventually blow up in your face. It won’t be easy but these are the steps you must take to find Peace. God has forgiven you for the infidelity but if you don’t do the right thing you’re actually committing another sin.
If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.